Ok, I know what you are thinking & I really do love positivity as much as the next life coach. But lately, both clients and friends have been apologizing to me for being negative and complaining when they were just sharing their honest thoughts and feelings with me.
Why are we only allowed to share positive thoughts and feelings?
Being a human means about half the time we’re going to be feeling good and about half the time we are going to be feeling what I call “unpleasant emotions.” This is what life is.
Thinking that our unpleasant emotions aren’t okay is causing some major problems for us.
First, we are trying to make them go away at all costs by drinking too much, eating too much, spending too much time on facebook, watching too much tv, and more. These things numb our feelings temporarily but don’t ultimately make us feel good. We are usually left beating ourselves up later for wasting time, falling off the diet wagon, etc.
Second, we think something is wrong with us if we aren’t feeling 100% happy all the time. It’s normal and okay to feel sad, angry, frustrated, uncomfortable, afraid, embarrassed. It’s part of being a human. I know it isn’t comfortable, but fighting it makes it worse. Take a deep breath, call the emotion what it is, and give it time to play itself out. Don’t judge it. Journal. Reach out to a trusted friend or coach (me!).
In time it will pass, and you’ll realize letting it happen feels a lot better than fighting or numbing.
Sounds good but overwhelming? Let’s work together. In my individual coaching program, #Adulting, we spend a whole week working together on your emotions & how to implement this for real.